Introverting · Tea Talk

Friendship Maintenance

I am an introvert, I am defined this way because I need recharge time. I do just fine in social settings but I can’t be in them too much without having some alone time to myself. Now, this is where the awkward comes in because “alone time to myself” does not always involve me leaving a room full of people. It usually comes about in a series of dazed stares, and day dreaming. I have also been known to pull a book from my bag (if space in there allows) and read it in a room full of people as if I’m alone in my home.

Knowing these things about myself, in the past I have tried to guard myself from people I did not think would understand this about me, from people who wanted too much of my attention and therefore my energy. I have guarded myself by appearing snarky and uninterested but to be quite honest I WANT to share my vibes with people I just don’t like the feeling of being drained. Or used.

Here are a few guidelines on leaving me alone…

1.) Don’t call me everyday to discuss a dilemma or issue you’re having. I don’t know what to tell you and me giving you the same advice each day really brings me down.

~I really LOVE to laugh, its my favorite thing. I know that life isn’t all about laughter and sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on…I’m all for that but don’t soak up my t-shirt, or use up my minutes (ha-ha) only to continue doing the same things you wanted my advice for…no ma’am and no sir. I have a FIVE advice repeat limit, and that’s hella generous.

2.) If I ask you “who’s going to be there?” Humor me! I know I don’t know the people you’re naming but its like a comfort blanket for me, especially if there is a name I recognize.

~Also, there may be KEY names/places that if you say them I will reconsider my plans. I have every right to choose the energy I want to be around. So if you say a name/place and I say I’m staying home, respect that boundary.

3.) Do not leave me at an “event” around people I don’t know. Chances are, I’m going to stare into my phone or pull out a complete novel from my bag. I won’t be embarrassed by either. I’m completely fine being “the girl that was reading that book the entire night”.

~Don’t mistake this for me needing a babysitter. No. I can mingle with the best of them, but if this event is dry I’m not about to carry it on my back trying to bojangle and make nice with everyone. Y’all wanna be dry? That’s cool, I’ve got games on my phone.

4.) Don’t take it personal. If I don’t call you for days that only means I’m recharging in whatever way I do so. I am not dead, or mad, or lonely. I’m just doing stuff inside my head…alone and enjoying it.

~There are people I talk to everyday…they have made it past my recharge stage and have honestly become ways that I recharge. They’re lucky. 😉

5.) More often than not, your secrets are safe with me, at the most they will be written down in a journal and that’s only if they directly deal with me. Afford me the same respect, I’m already going out on a limb here by trusting you. The last thing I need are people in my business…both good and bad.

~Shhhh for me and I’ll shhh for you.

And really that’s it. I had fun writing this post, and of course it was meant for laughs but there is some seriousness embedded in there as well.

See ya next week!

Photo by Hannah Rodrigo on Unsplash

3 thoughts on “Friendship Maintenance

    1. I usually am able to carve out some alone time while the kids are doing their extracurricular activities or while my husband is out doing guy stuff.

      Being around the kids/husband (family in general) really doesn’t drain me surprisingly. I have fun in those settings and I do fine. I’m glad you enjoyed reading this!!! Lol hope I answered your question well.

      Liked by 1 person

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