I turned 34 last Thursday. Thirty-four. I feel good about it. I don’t mind my age because I earned it. I earned the experiences that it took me to get here and I am forever grateful. On my birthday I had some friends send me videos of themselves giving their younger selves tips, and oh what a beautiful sight it was. Feel free to check it out on my IG @keish.can.
When I went back and looked at all those videos, none of those women were telling their younger selves specific instances to avoid, and there is so much to be said about that but I don’t have the time or the podcast to unpack all of it. One thing it does say clearly is that we all know that we are merely our experiences. Without those who would we be? I don’t have very many regrets and those that I do seem to shed as the years come.
Without horrible boyfriends, a sordid sex life, an absent father, or the good sense to know when enough is enough, I would not be here right now as a living, breathing, thriving, woman. I know what I like, I know what kind of people I want around me, know what dress looks good on my body type, I know that I don’t really fool with food that is ugly, I know how to survive, I know who I am. And while this might make for a pretty boring social media presence, it makes my actual life that much sweeter. You guys there is NO DRAMA besides the stuff that I CHOOSE to let in, thier names are: Nene Leakes, Porscha Williams, Marlow Hampton, Cynthia Bailey, Sheree Whitfield, and Kenya….(forgot her last name). THAT is my drama, and I’m here for it.
There is nothing I would tell 14 year old me to avoid, I would tell her to start with self love, love yourself wholly and fully and without reservation and everything else will fall into place properly. And that 20 years from now you will be okay. Just keep living. The pain from mistakes that you’re destined to make will go away with time. So don’t worry about getting everything right, you have to get some things “wrong” in order to learn from them.
Simple as that.