Podcasts I LOVE!

Nowadays its rare for me to listen to the actual radio, I don’t know why, maybe its the millennial in me, maybe I hate commercials, maybe my hunger for “Talk radio” has surpassed my need for actual music. Not to mention I really don’t like the songs that the radio plays, of course I have a few jams but for the most part the radio plays one song at least 12 times a day and I just can’t deal with that.

I love listening to podcasts curled up on my couch, while cleaning my home, or on my commute to work. I just love the information they give. I listen to a pretty good range of them and I wanted to share my favorites with my readers. Check them out below.

Hey Girl by Alex Elle 

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This is such a needed podcast for my life. Alex is an author that works in the self love field. She is so enlightened and precious and on this show she interviews different women with different experiences and..y’all…this podcast has literally brought me to tears, its left me feeling light, its honestly a breath of fresh air for me.

Brown Ambition

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Money, money, money, money. This podcast is run by the Budgetnista Tiffany and Yahoo finance reporter Mandi. These women make me laugh and they teach me how to save + earn + get out of debt. Everything that I need in order to reach my 2 year no debt goal (pray for me). If you want to stay on top of your finances I suggest checking these ladies out. Very helpful resources here.

The Lavendaire Lifestyle

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Aileen Xu is my friend in my head. This podcast is super inspirational and has an interview format, so I get to listen to all of these dreamers and the things they’ve done to get to their dreams. Lavendaire lifestyle gets me motivated to write, blog, build my non profit, you name it. Its a constant reminder that nothing is out of reach once you put forth the effort.

My Strength and My Shield

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Modern spirituality. That is the best way I can describe this podcast. Ms. Nissi is a 28 year old Christian woman that deals with modern, everyday issues in a more spiritual way. She also has a self care segment that I absolutely adore. There is a lot of effort put into this podcast as Nissi has an entire website with worksheets and everything. Worth a listen.

Joel Osteen Podcast

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On my grouchy days all I have to do is click this podcast and my day brightens up. These are 30 minute sermons delivered by Pastor Joel Osteen, these are uplifting and eye opening and I don’t know how my Mondays would go without this podcast.

The Friend Zone

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Dustin, Fran, and Assante. Ninja Training. Freestyle Raps. Hot Button. Wellness Segment. Who in the Hell wants a musty brain? If at any given moment you catch me at a redl ight laughing so hard I’m crying, its probably because of The Friend Zone! I LOVE this show, I can’t get enough. They start the show off cracking me up, but it isn’t all laughs, Fran dives deep and gets your mental hygiene on point. There is really so much I can say about this show, I’ll be here forever trying to explain how awesome it is.

Gettin Grown

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My NEW favorite podcast. Jade and Keia feel like my cousins! This show focuses on leveling up in a hilarious manner. They also have a Self Care segment, Kitchen Table talk, Petty Peeves, and Honesty Box. All of which at any given moment will have you wondering if they know your life. Definitely in constant rotation on my phone.

These are all of the podcasts that get me through the work week (and sometimes weekend) seamlessly. They keep me laughing, thinking, learning, and improving, hopefully you can find one that you love. Are there any podcasts that I didn’t mention that you guys can’t live without? Please share in the comments.

June *Blog Related* Goals

Good evening folks!

Its 11:29pm June 1, 2017 and I am just sitting down to pound out this months goals. I haven’t done one of these in awhile simply because it is not something that I tend to follow. I always fall off for some reason, maybe my goals are too extravagant. I’ve decided to take a different approach and in May it worked.

Set smaller goals that get you to your bigger goals

 

So we all know accomplishing things takes steps, its a journey. I can’t wake up one morning and shoot perfect 3’s without putting some time in daily on the court. Game 1 of Warriors vs Cavs just ended (we won) so I apologize for the basketball analogy.  Things take steps. Check out June’s plans below:

Main goal: Get more traffic on the blog(s).

Small goal: Post frequently. Come up with a schedule that works realistically for my life and post on those days. Twice a week is ideal.

Main goal: Be more organized!

Small goal: To Do Lists. I’m busier than I think I am and I just started to realize that in May. To Do lists are my best friends, and I’ve grown accustom to making them via an app called “Wunderlist” its just a simple app, no bells or whistles but I like it and it works for me.

Main Goal: Quality Writing

Small Goal: Get inspired. Sometimes when I force myself to write it comes out like blah blah blah, and no one wants to read babble. This does not mean back off from posting on a more frequent basis, that means let the world inspire, look for art in things. Find something that makes you eager to share.

Hopefully this helps my fellow bloggers, and even those of you who don’t blog can learn from this way of goal setting. Sometimes our goals seem so out of reach, and I find that it isn’t because they’re too big…no way, its because we’re not respecting the journey that it takes to get there. Small steps get you to your big one + being intentional about the things that you want.

Until next time…

Keish

Tea Talk: Why You’re Losing Friends

Simply put: You are losing friends because you refuse to grow. Time is passing, people are changing, yet you still seem to remain stagnant. In a perfect world your friends will grow with you, you will motivate each other to do better and you will go from middle school buddies, to skipping class in high school together, to clubbing partners, to full grown adult women that ain’t got time for all that playing in my face (shout out to Gettin’ Growns” Keia). You do good things together, you do bad things together, you do things that you’ve decided never to talk about again. You GROW UP together.

I get frustrated with two types of old friends:

1.) The fake hurt texter

“You don’t fool with me anymore”. When phones work two ways, and sometimes three if you want to get fancy. Just because we don’t speak everyday does not mean that I don’t fool with you. It means no effort is made on either end to make contact, so don’t play the victim about the situation. If anything I’m Freddy and you’re Jason. Come through with some plans (preferably kid friendly). “Hey pal, I’m heading to _____ miss ya, wondering if you’re able to meet me there, maybe do some catching up” THESE are the kinds of texts that move me. Try this avenue once or twice I’m sure the response you get will be positive.

2.) The Memory Lane Walker

Do not, in any way, get this twisted. I LOVE memories, I LOVE to laugh, I LOVE to reflect on my past so that I can recognize my glow up. I DO NOT love the friend that I haven’t seen in forever, I’m talking about hasn’t seen me in my entire adult life coming at me like “oh I know the old Keisha” what does that mean? To me it means you don’t KNOW me at all because I’m a completely different person than I was when we were “cool”. You did not evolve with me and that is unfortunate but what you will NOT do is act like I’m putting on some sort of facade like deep down inside I’m still 23…boy (yes boy) bye. A better way to handle this is to laugh about the past a little bit, thank God we aren’t there anymore and catch up on the present. If there is a genuine care about that person than the conversation should flow pretty easily, but due to the fact that a lot of people are just messy boots they’ll never get to this step.

If you know me you know I do not lose friends, I might misplace them but the real ones are never lost. If at any point I called you friend you still have that status, with maybe a select few that have been placed in the acquaintance category (still a good place).  When you reach out to your old friends, be sure to acknowledge life…that’s really it. Life. Some of us are married, with kids, single, without kids, working crazy schedules, building our brands, the list is infinite. Respect that people are growing. Just because we aren’t growing in the same circle doesn’t mean there isn’t a genuine foundation of love there.

Mom Life

samantha-sophia-88072Momming ain’t easy but it’s completely worth it. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in 12 different directions, maintaining a home, a marriage, a family and a career. Some days it seems impossible to equally divide my time between the four most important areas in my life. If I’m being completely honest sometimes I just want to crawl into bed and sleep, do laundry when I want, come and go as I please, make immature decisions that only affect me. But as soon as I start to feel that way I remember those bright eyes, silly laughs, and sloppy kisses that I’m so often blessed with and I realize that my “only me” days have been long gone and I am now someone who many people depend on to live…heavy right?

I have this power of motherhood that some people so often scoff at but to be honest it has brought the best out of me, I never knew my heart could stretch this wide or that I could be as selfless as I am until I become a mom and a wife. It still amazes me, to this day, that I can set out on a shopping trip and not pick up one item of clothing for myself, and if I do I always have my kids on the forefront of my mind like “Riley needs more shoes, your jeans can wait.” Or “BJ is growing like a weed, put that purse down and grab him some jeans”. I know to some that may seem like torture but I promise it isn’t. Being a mom has taught me how to put someone else’s needs before my wants. It’s taught me the meaning of being responsible. Me cultivating a happy life for my family in turn makes my life happy. Of course there’s always time for a mini get away, a nail salon visit, a Saturday morning that starts with me opening my eyes in the afternoon or a 3 hour phone conversation with my girlfriends. There’s always time for a self care session and when I get them I enjoy them that much more because it’s well deserved. In the meantime I enjoy my children’s dance recitals & soccer games and my husbands golf addiction. I never worry about “losing myself” when it comes to my family because these people are apart of me, they go out into the world and represent me daily, and I can’t think of any group of people better for the role.

Jordan Edwards

 

I cannot ignore this tragedy, no matter how much I want to turn away from it and count my blessings that it wasn’t my brother, cousin, uncle or son in this situation, but I just can’t. There is a wave of pain washing over the African American community, unfortunately it is not a shared pain nor one that we are unfamiliar with.

This hurts….

An unarmed 15 year old was shot…with a rifle…while leaving a party. This may not sound any different than the other accounts to some, to me, it was yet another senseless murder on behalf of the people that are supposed to be protecting us. In this case, the only difference is they cannot hide behind him being a “suspect” in a nearby “robbery” they cannot say that he was reaching for a “gun” when in reality it was a wallet. They can’t say he was selling cigarettes illegally on the street corner and “resisting” arrest. They can’t say that he was a threat to them at all. They can’t say that a store clerk called the cops on him because he was “loitering”. Of course, we know that they tried, and this time it was an obvious fail. Jordan Edwards was a 15 year old freshmen that carried a 3.5 GPA, he was at a party that started to get out of hand so he left with his , group of friends, they were not fleeing police, yet somehow this young man ends up dead, life just…gone. I read the story, or shall I say glossed over enough to get the details. Its hard for me to read things like that because it hurts. I can barely write about it without becoming emotional.

Even when we’re doing the right things, even when we have no criminal history (shouldn’t matter) aren’t causing an ounce of threat (shouldn’t matter) we are still targets. Its like this skin we wear is reason enough to treat us differently. And no, this isn’t new at all but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less or that we feel any less helpless.

What are we supposed to tell our kids? Keep your hands visible. Don’t talk back. Be an upstanding member of the community. Don’t walk in the middle of the street. Even these warnings don’t matter because it’s not our actions that they care about its the way that we look.

Dear White People,

See chapter v of “Dear White People” on Netflix. This is something that we have to go through daily. The risk of dying anytime something goes awry and we’re around. I know that this isn’t your life, nor is it something you have to deal with and maybe you’ll never fully understand, but that episode is a mere peek into what it is to be black in America. And we’re the hostile ones?

I’m praying for Jordan Edwards’ family. I know they are rocked to the core. I’m praying for all of us, humanity in general. We need it. His parents will never see him off to prom, never see him walk across the stage to accept his diploma, never get to see any of the milestones that kids have once they hit high school that make parents so proud. All these people have are memories, and for what?

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RIP Jordan Edwards. We won’t forget you.

Featured Photo Courtesy of Radical_dreams_pins on instagram

Rainy Day Remedy

i-m-priscilla-228220.jpgThis past weekend has been full of rain and restoration for the Canady Household. We were able to gather some old clothes (at least 3 years) that the kids haven’t touched at all and I even managed to make some money off of a few, the rest I plan to donate. I was able to organize at least two closets (I have an issue with focusing) and I gathered all my hair products vowing to use what I have before buying more. Brian also set up the desk in my office and I think this is the most exciting part of my weekend aside from the awesome rain. I was able to clean out clutter and get set up for Spring/Summer ’17.

Self care comes in all shapes and sizes, for me it has recently been ridding myself of the old. Whether that comes in the form of clothing, hair products or feelings. Holding on to things that no longer represent who I am only stunts further growth. I can’t hang on to clothes I’ll never wear again, uncomfortable shoes, or feelings that mean me no good. This is a time to restore who I always have been so that God can use me. There is no way to see clearly through muddy, crooked, broken, Fendi shades. I mean, yes they’re Fendi, but they’re broken. You guys get my analogy? (lol I hope so because I’ve been told I suck at them).

I feel great now that some clutter has been removed and my mind and home have been restored. I feel new. I hold no resentment towards anyone + I was able to make room in my closets for new finds! It’s a win win! I hope you guys have a great week and that your weekend was productive! Talk to you soon.

Pretty Crazy

Yea I’m pretty but what about my mental stability?

I’m sure no one asks this question of themselves or of anyone else for that matter. Could you imagine? Let me set the scene: First date, she’s gorgeous you’re interested, before you walk her to her door (I imagine that’s still a thing) you seal the night by politely asking about her mental health. That entire scene is laughable at best and I wouldn’t expect anyone to do that on the first date but I do feel like it is a question worth asking. I’m sure if you asked my husband if I was crazy he’d gladly tell the person asking and twelve other people that I’m nuts, and he’d have stories to back it up.

Why won’t we ask that of ourselves? That’s way too self reflective and no one really wants the answer because once you get the answer you can’t ignore it. You have to start thinking about things like therapy and for some reason that word alone is taboo in the black community. Black women are usually praised as strong, independent, and stable. All these are great words but does that leave us with room to be human? To cry sometimes? To fix ourselves by doing more than brushing things under a proverbial rug? Is that fair?

Why don’t we ask that of others? I’d like to say we don’t care, because the vast majority of us don’t consider that question when building interpersonal relationships. Unless the signs are obvious we are to assume that everyone is on the right side of sane. That too, is unfair.

I’ve dealt with depression, on a major level, there were times in my life where all I wanted to do was cry, lay in bed, and ignore the sun. I’d lost my job, my home, my car, my cheating ass boyfriend (that was actually a win dressed up as a loss), and a little bit of self respect. Did I go to therapy to cure these things? No. BUT I had (and still have) a group of friends that literally pulled me out of my stupor to have an intervention. It worked. These girls cared enough to notice that something was off kilter with me and they went right into action to “fix” me. They didn’t judge me or tell me what I “need to be doing” they asked prying questions that made me dig deep for answers. My husband (boyfriend at the time…)  was also apart of this healing process. He was a rock for me to lean on, lash out at, push away from me, and pull back in. All the time he stood with me and never once did anything besides encourage me. And this instance was just ONE bout of depression, I’ve had many before and many since, but the difference between then and now is I know what to do, I know how to shake it and turn my face towards the sun and all the blessings that I have and have yet to receive. Knowing these things keeps me on the brighter side of this thing called life.

As beautiful as she is, as well put together as he is, pay attention to your friends, your loved ones, respect their feelings. In a world this chaotic it would not be unheard of if someone was going crazy…alone. If nothing else be that rock that they can go crazy with, vent to, laugh with, and cry on, without worry of judgement.

As always

Dream.Love.Inspire.

Keish…

The World Needs More “Nasty Women”

Happy Women’s History Month!

Hey ladies! Why is it that men can go do what’s wrong? Why is it that? We just decide to keep holding on? Okay sorry I literally cannot say the phrase “hey ladies” without being flashed back to the Destiny’s Child “Writings on the Wall” album. *clears throat* Don’t you just love being a woman? We’re gentle, beautiful, smart, kind, caring, fiery, fun creatures but its rare that anyone gives us the option to explore our not so fun side. You know the side that shows when you’re walking down the street and some strange man demands that you smile, or when you’re referred to as a “female” in a degrading tone.

So often we’re told that we’re being bitchy or just outright called a bitch anytime we go against what some say the norm is. If we ask too many questions, make too many demands, don’t respond to random cat calls, don’t smile big enough while walking down the street, work too hard, love too little etc etc. we are referred to as a bitch or a term that I’ve come to enjoy “nasty woman”.

This month and every month thereafter I challenge you to be ALL of you, not just the side that people want to see but the other side that we all try so hard to pretend isn’t there. I’m not saying go out and be a horrible person but I do want you to go out and say no when you don’t want to do something. Yell when you need to be heard. Work as late as you need to. Smile when the mood hits. And cry when you’re sad. The world loves to pigeon hole people, you can’t be this if you’re that but what the world doesn’t know is that a woman can be anything she damn well pleases. It really doesn’t take the world to validate your womanhood only you can do that.

So celebrate yourself sis! Be a little more kind & understanding to other women and what they’re growing through. And be a little more kind to yourself. We deserve it.

As always…

Dream. Love. Inspire.

Keish

 

Ugly Duckling

Growing up I never felt “pretty”. I always felt awkward, didn’t really feel like I fit in. Representation of girls that looked like me wasn’t very fluid in the 90’s and if it was I was not exposed to it. Born to a teenage mom and her loving mother, there was really no time to focus on building my self esteem in the manner of “you’re beautiful”. What mattered at that time was my mom getting through high school while somehow keeping me fed, and clean. I am thankful for both those things, but I was never a child who was told how “beautiful” she was. I never felt like I needed that sort of validation growing up, I was happy with it not being a main focus in my household FULL of gorgeous women who had no time to worry about rather their eyeliner was placed correctly.

I think I realized I was different in the fifth grade, that my hair was different, the way I dressed was different, and that the way that I saw beauty was different. I found beauty in being able to roll down my grandmothers grassy hill, hair wild, clothes messy, no one making a fuss over my ripped jeans, that was beautiful for me. Growing older, when boys started to matter I started to change, I started to cringe at the way my hair would lay, obsess over my flat chest, I even had a bout where I just KNEW I had acne and needed proactiv (I did not). I was officially coming into the fact that I wasn’t very beautiful and far too old to roll down hills to grasp the memories of beauty that I once had as a child. Sure, guys liked me and that was okay but that never really made me feel “beautiful”, surprisingly beauty has nothing to do with how much someone else feeds your ego but that’s an entirely new blog post in itself.

I had to accept me for me and I did not do that until I found out I was pregnant with Ri. There was no time for me to have a low self esteem or allow my sense of self worth to ever drop, at least not on the surface, not where she could see, but on the inside I was a mess…rather a work in progress. I knew that I deserved more but I felt like I would never pull my self love out of the depths of my self hate. And there was no one to blame or point the finger at. It was something that I had to do on my own, and it was not easy.

A true turning point was when I decided that my beauty was and always had been on the inside, once I cleared away all the junk of what people said about me, the way I looked, my style of dress. All the insecurities of growing up fatherless…once I let go of all the sh*t that was weighing me down, I began to fly (Toni Morrison Reference) and I’ve been a swan since that point in my life. I vow to give this gift of self love to my children, I want them to love everything about themselves from hair follicle to the bed of their toenails. Once you decide you’re beautiful, both inside and out, no one can take that from you.

Until next time…

Dream.Love.Inspire.

Keish


Photo c/o Aaron Burden

Notes on Love

Part I 

This past week was Valentines Day and though my husband and I didn’t go all out, the undertone of the day was still love. Brian and I will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary on March 1st. Sometimes that’s hard for me to believe, I’ve been married for 3 years. I was never the type to romanticize about marriage. It was cool if it happened and I thought I’d be okay if it didn’t. I just never really put that much thought into it, probably because no one around me was married or rushing to get married at the time. Now that I’ve been married for a little while I can honestly say marriage isn’t hard, or easy, its just worth it. To have a lifetime hand to hold, dance partner, motivational speaker, body pillow, and spades partner is worth all of the stress that years of failed dates with the wrong men bring. My husband isn’t perfect and neither am I, but our intentions are good and we both put 100% into being the best of everything for each other and our children.

Just yesterday I stood in my living room, looked around my house and thought “wow, what a blessing, thanks God” not thanking Him so much for the house itself (although it is pretty nice) but thanking Him more for the love that fills my home. The glass breakfast table that I can never get my sons hand prints off of for more than a day, the granite counter tops that are areas of early morning wreckage due to last minute lunch preparations, the living room that contains my daughters mermaid blanket that she NEVER takes to her room, and finally my SUPPOSED sanctuary that is the 4th bedroom that is somehow filled with my husbands…shall we say, projects?

I could be single, own a condo with concrete floors and a pug named Bane. I could go out whenever I please without ever worrying about anyone besides myself. I could have solitude during the times that I need it most. While all of that is someone’s journey it isn’t my own, just like my journey is not someone else’s. In no way am I knocking the single, kid free, care free, lifestyle (in fact just typing that scene made me experience a very small slither of envy), I just love where I am right now, on this very day.

Part II

If God has you alone in this moment, enjoy it, don’t spend your days wishing you had a significant other. Get out into the world, live, be happy, and do the things that you love. Most importantly, all the love that you’re dying to give someone else just give it to yourself…and a pug named Bane if that’s what makes you happy.
Love is abundant and constant as long as you tap into the love that you have within, the love that is constantly flowing around you via family, friends, or a smile from a stranger. You just have to choose to see it, don’t dismiss it because it is not in the form that you imagined it to be, that’s unfair.

As always…

Dream. Love. Inspire.

Keish